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Accepting death doesn’t mean you won’t be devastated when someone you love dies. It means you will be able to focus on your grief, unburdened by bigger existential questions like, “Why do people die?” and “Why is this happening to me?” Death isn’t happening to you. Death is happening to us all.

Caitlin Doughty, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

I found this indefinitely interesting. At first I was certain no one would want to read about my misery, but than again people still go out of there way to watch sad movies, heart breaking stories and read about terrible news. To see what terrifying things people can do to one another, or what our world can do to us. It’s something that I was always aware of, but never really considered. I watch horror movies and tear jerkers, I let myself witness terrifying things, and read about the unpleasantness of life.

It’s all true. We do this because we like to know that our life isn’t all that bad or alternatively that we’re not alone and people hurt the same way we do. We all bleed the same coloured blood. To feel the sense of community similar to the one we feel about happy stories, stories of a kitten being saved from a tree or a town coming together to help one person. We feel the same warmth knowing that when something bad happens, we can all agree it’s terrible. That our moral compasses are pulled with the same magnetic force and no matter what the tragedy, who it effects or what its extent, it is still a tragedy.

Of course there are two sides to every story, not everyone is included in this moral and innocent population. Scenarios create a real life personality test in which some people pass and other people don’t make the cut. During my experience so far, I’ve had people turn the other way, people I thought I could trust but in the end found out that our Norths aren’t shared. That the magnetic force that entices most of our moral compasses differ, and some are manipulated in questionable directions.

I also really liked the quote above, that acceptance wasn’t as much as a stage or a collective terms of emotions as I like to think, but more a one off transaction to symbolize progression. Giving up safety and emotional shelter for reality, unknown and scary, but reality nonetheless. A word to describe that you’re past denial, and traveling forward. It’s a direction, not a location.

Til next time x

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