I feel nothing at the moment. Haven’t written for days, and to be honest don’t really want to. I don’t have anything pressing that I want to get off my chest, or any news to divulge. I feel boring. Maybe I’m just bored – “Bored people are boring people.”
I don’t think I’m boring, I like to think I’m an interesting kind of person. At this very moment however, I feel sort of empty. This is such a weird thing to admit, but I woke up this morning and thought about how exciting it would be to have a dad. How sad is that?
Waking up and just thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to look up to, want to impress and talk to. Something to share all the exciting things that sometimes happen, all of the accomplishments. Now… I feel like every moment has gone somewhat flat. Like my world has lost a dimension and everything seems to have downgraded to 2D.
You don’t realise what you’ve got ’til its gone. I hate that. More than I hate this feeling of constant numbness.
I could rattle on and continue to describe my lack of emotion with more colour and depth. Give it some life with a few metaphors and epiphanies. But whats the point. Why give extra dimension to the emotion that’s taken mine away.
Til next time, whenever that may be. x
…I think I’m losing hope.