There’s a little purple rope attached from my writing implement to my talking implement. A 100cm pale purple USB cable, from Mac book to iPhone. Usually I keep it attached at all times, like a safety cord to a treadmill, not because I worry the battery will run flat but because I have a habit of constantly losing my phone in a sea of blankets and pillows.
I almost always write things in the comfort of my bed. It makes me feel productive in a very meditative state. At the moment I’m writing on a big couch, covered in a M.C. Escher like patterned throw, three matching red linen pillows, a red felt thermal blanket my mum threw on me moments ago and a Count Dracula toy, which my sisters work friend stole for me when I said I found it intriguing.
My objectives today are to sort out uni, decide on a job, and slowly heal from my current health infliction (throat infection, I have a lovely video documenting the extent of the damage, but even a graphic warning wouldn’t do the imagery justice). I’ve been in bed for three days, my hair has been in the same messy bun – only evolving into more of a static mess hour by hour. It hurts to yawn, laugh or swallow. I really like food, but not enough to justify the pain it creates at current – my only options as of late have been cold soup, and frozen raspberries with changing option of ice cream or yogurt depending on how healthy I feel like being.
I watched every episode of Black Books in a day, 2 seasons of House, a horror movie I fell asleep through and half a stand up comedy show that reminded me laughing hurt. I used to be a sickly child when I was little, so I’m pretty good at this ‘resting’ gig. It’s an odd process, being unproductive in the aim of being optimally productive.
I think I’m writing out of boredom, also I’d rather write a blog post then talk to people write now. I wish being social was as easy as posting a collection of words on a world wide forum. I had a bad week with socialising, I guess I just realised that it’s really important to be choosey with the people you decide to spend time with. I never realise how destructive it was if you made the wrong decision. I think I over saturated my social calendar of late because of my newly appointed status of unemployment and being single. I just wanted to put myself out there to see which direction I wanted to go next – but I think that was the wrong tactic. Now I just want to go into hiding.
Ideally, I would love to deactivate my social media for a while – write for 30 days straight, and see what I end up with. Unfortunately, I chose to direct my new possible career in social media… unfortunately I’m good at social media, and socialising, but I have to honestly say I don’t think it does any good for me. I was never social growing up, I’d rather start up in the sky and play with my imagination then play with other kids. I think I knew better when I was four, than now at twenty-four.
It would be nice to have a reset button… sorry for the pointless rambling. I’m usually better at untying my thoughts and putting a moral or a epiphany on it. Lets blame the sickness, shall we?
Until next time x