So I just reread the Get Out of Jail Free Card, and it was pretty flawless. I used to be good, grief does well with me. Them words.
My honest feelings are… I agree with those words I wrote. I only wish you the happiest life. I want the glass to be constantly filled to the brim, I want every option to be unaware that gluten is or ever was a thing. I want you to look at all those lucky and ridiculous moments, and not see them as a statistically amazing moment, but just your everyday interaction with life.
Your question I think was how was my side of the hill. I woke up watching another one of those tear jerking videos which I’ll link and explain further in detail at the end. I don’t think there was any deep seeded issue to why I clicked on it other than it featured a dog that looked like a Husky, but it did leave me again with deep seeded tears. I just want to quickly point out before you read too much into that, I was sad before you, depressed for reasons that don’t involve you, and there should be no associated feelings of guilt.
You were there for my party week, following that has just been week one. I think the most interesting epiphany from it all has been my need to distract myself from distraction, which made me realise (and I suppose this was obvious) that you were never just a distraction at all, and you were right about my shitty monopoly metaphor.
I said that our relationship was like the utilities, it wasn’t like an individual property, it was continuous and constant, inconvenient but realistically essential. I was way off. Our relationship was playing monopoly. We had shit going on, and we had to distract ourselves. So we found a game, and a player. We rolled the dice, we went places and we had fun. Fast forward 8 months, and you won the game (and I just lost the game). You were always going to win the game, you got both blue properties on the first roll however were generous enough not to build hotels until the very end.
That said, I’m okay. I woke up yesterday and walked to the table to see a the deck of Archangel Michael Tarot cards next to my mums used and abused Marlboro deck. She said to give it a go, so I did. Opened the box, gathered the cards in my left hand and knocked it with my right, praying to the archangel as per the instructions on the back of the box. I didn’t have a specific question as I was shuffling, I was thinking about monopoly, life in general, Lok Tins predictions and the idea of other possible board games, but then back to monopoly. I felt the magnetism to the bottom card, and naturally, as life generally works, this is what I was dealt with.
I laughed, wanted to tell you straight away then felt slightly pained when I realised I couldn’t, and that was something I need to get used to. But that’s completely okay, because it is what it is, it was what it was. I don’t regret one minute of it. It was a good game, and I refuse to walk away from the game as anything but a good sport.
I’m not sure if this helped at all, I can write more replies like this. I can delete it immediately. Or just leave it at this. You can comment, Yo or any choice of response. I don’t know the rules of this game, as it’s been mainly cards at this point with the need to keep our emotions and reactions to ourselves I suppose the closest thing would be poker.
Wish you the best, and thanks for playing,
ps. This was the video,
I was totally insane with joy every time, even though I faked cool, calm and collected.
“How did you know it was me walking up those stairs and not a customer?”
Reality – because I was constantly on look out and would fake being pseudo busy to hide the fact I was embarrassingly excited, which worked 8/10 times because there were always the moments of failure when you asked me why I was nervous.